listening to the first ending of gundam seed, Anna ni issho datta no ni; We were so close together (arthrun & kira version), if you feel like downloading it, here's a
link, i dunno how long it may last, so try 2 dl it quick, its on yousend it. i think i feel like blogging all of a sudden, this tune, reminds me of the feelings i've had when i felt so despire, and at the ending part of the tune, it injects yet another surge of feeling into me, it made me feel like that everything is planned, everything has a way of its own, that i must accept it.
the song gives a warm touch, that felt so relief.... the way this song is being is being perfomed, you can feel the lyrics dancing along with it, the sadness of leaving each other, the awkwardness when meeting again after a long time...all of this feelings , mixed up together.... when listening to this song...
what will happen in 10 years to come, when i were to go find my group of pri, sec, close and the current batch of classmates again? will thsi happen to me? will i feel awkard? or will i juz be my ownself, standing by a corner, having my lips sealed? what could have happen. I am not sure...
its being a long time since i have met my pri buddies... but theres a tinch of awkwardness... between us all... and its kinda strong... i dunno if its becoz we are in a total new and individual situation now or if its becoz we have juz lost contact after this few years.... i cant figure that out yet....
but, theres something else.... which i felt like is kept dangling around... which is the strong feelings i felt before... i am uncertain now if they are true or not.... but 1 thing is for sure... they have never being continued.... they juz died down... totally.... even if they were phoenix... that would be their last reincarnation....
it feels so hollow to me, theres nothing that feels true enough for me to hold it, none... it feels like juz an illuson, a dream, or more likely juz something out of my chaotic thoughts.... chaotic... messed up and twisted.... thats what i alway felt about my thoughts when im alone to think about it.... i am always thinking, and i always take a notice over every one around, i never miss out any one near me, its juz that no one ever notice, that im always looking at every one around me, not for some bad or evil reasons, i juz have a habit of looking, and thinking what are the best way i can start conversation with that person, but because the thoughts always clashes, i never manage to make it happen or always cause it to halt....
i always think, if this person has some taboo to some words, so i every time thinks about the kind of conversation with some one im not familar with, thats why im so quiet sometimes.... coz i really cant figure out anything to tok.... i dun like 2 make myself look like a fool, think its leo's trademark, never wanna get malu... and also, i like to finish things perfectly... so its kinda bad for me thought.... and then, when it comes to toking to girls, i cant even tok that well, ill most of the time stammer.,... i cant seem 2 tok well, i only tok well wif those i noe better, those who understand my character... becoz they know that sometimes when i shoot them, its not offensive, its more of a joke.... i kept thinking that i shot alot of ppl whom i juz met, im really sorry guys if i ever did that, im carrying a joking attitude, if you really dun think or take it as a joke, than never mind... juz forget it.
my way of making friends, i take it that friends are people who are really close to you, people who can share your woes and can joke around wif you, or tok about everything under the sky, not like ps u ard when they have better friends, thats what i always think, im not shooting any one here, i must state, this is juz a frank piece of my mind, my belief is that every one must be treated well, not like ps here and there, juz becoz of another person.... i know i did that b4, but im changing now....
friends to me, are important, i cherish the bonds people made with people, thats what that differ us from animals totally, its becoz we have friends and social circle... and that friends should be there to help... not ps and say dun want... i dunno, but it seems like a friend of mine is correct, that we have indeed live in a world of selfish only... its juz sad... the world of love, slowly corrupted... and twisted , juz like love in a BGR, twisted by the "morden" thoughts now, creating "instant", "bought",temperory","for fun","timer" and "forced".... this is the kinds of relation ship now that rather thrive... i have a dream, rather foolish dream, its that i wanna marry my first love, its not impossible, in taiwan,theres one actor who married his first love, that started from secondary school, till now, most chinese would hav know, his "pu shua liang", the guy who is incharge of the "super mission" in the "super sunday" entertaminent show.... but issint it nice, if you were to find some one, juz one person that you can share your love with for the rest of your life, i dun think playing around is nice, becoz im some one whose very serious when it comes to this kinda things.... its not a play matter to me, i kinda detest ppl who do that, the so called "FAT" (F**K And Throw), those ppl, i cant say anything thing...becoz thats really none of my business, i cant stop them, but i juz hope they will get their retribution....
well, i think thats all. cant say much more, coz tom gonna do some sinful act XD!!!! dun worry, not too big... haha...
bags and more bags...
Me:"wow... " Nic:"haha!, we don feel a thing coz we're sitting!"
worse motion blur...... look at nic!!!!
Lunch at BK at downtown east\
CH:" I'VE GOT YOU NOW!!!!!"
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