Friday, December 23, 2005

X-mas

so fast, its like time flies and now, im gonna go santa clause again... tired and bored... lol..

but when i woke up today morning, i felt real drain, for some reason, i felt like a sting of venom just jabbed me in my heart, i cant control my limbs and just lie down there striggling to move. and all of a sudden a flash back of bad memorises flushed back on me. making me feel really upset.

sat on the sofa and tried taking a deep breath to see if that release the tention, but it does not seem to help at all and when i walk to the kitchen, that damn feeling came again when i saw the knife on the table, it make me wanna just go cut my wrist ( i dint cut, but i have a funny urge to cut it).

i just throw myself on to the sofa, switching on my laptop and my router, its a damn boring morning, and im still tired.... last nite was fun, Astro x-mas party, but damn, if onli i can stay overnite.... i dunno why, but im getting a feeling like im floating, rather, i have a feeling that im not wat i use to be, im rather less responsive and less thinking of my words. i think im rather having depression.....

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

LEO PPL...

Thx 2 wei zhi for the email...


>>LEO MAN >> >>He likes to comb his hair backward, open his forehead >>showing a dignify >>facial ___expression. His eyes is sparkle, but > slightly >>showing laziness. He >>walks firmly and slowly like a lion, confident and > ego >>proud. Outside, you >>may think he is kind and gentle person, but inside he >>is a strong and secure >>person. If he is frighten, he will re-act and respond >>right away. His words >>always seem normal but mostly imply "order and >>demanding". He will not talk >>fast, or can not talk fast, neither walk fast. In a >>crowd or at work he will >>act normally, but not for long you will see him >>standing out of the crowd >>and be a center of attention with his words, or his >>action. >> >>You might think he is a shy guy, but deep down inside >>he wants to power over >>his family and his friends. He just waits for that >>right moment. Do not take >>what is his, and do not order him, or else you will >>see a fierce lion. He >>respects elderly and senior, but will never bow down >>and accept like a >>looser for he will rather die than loose his dignity. >> >>He talks bluntly even on an occasion that he should >>not say such thing. He >>is a compassionate guy and always look at other > people >>on a bright side. He >>likes people to listen to him. Even he has such a >>blunt and bold >>personality, he could easily reach his goal without >>making any enemy. >> >>Once disagree with him on something, he can be very > up >>set like a rainy >>storm on a summer day. It will only last a short > time, >>then he will be back >>a cheery merry person again. He is a bright and witty >>guy, and he will not >>put any efforts on something that he thinks it will >>not work and waste his >>energy. He is a good planner and can well manage his >>job assigned. When he >>gives order, he expect them to be carry out exactly. >>He is the leader type >>that the followers love. >> >>He can give other people advice and solve problems > for >>other people well, >>except his own mess. He can be easily hurt by other >>people especially if you >>do not trust or respect his ability. You could >>compliment him sometimes and >>make this lion be your kitty with no difficulty. He > is >>not a good judge for >>he listen to many people and tend to belief all > sides. >> >>You can hardly see a Leo man with no woman by his >>side. If you see him >>alone, he could already have a love one in his heart, >>or just broken up with >>one. Because he is very proud, he can change many > girl >>friends. He will do >>many things for the woman he loves, but loosing his >>face is not one of them. >>Leo man can not live without love , because for him >>Love is a ray of Light. >> >>He likes people to rely on him, it's make him feels >>"in power". He may >>complaint if he is asked for favor, but deep inside > he >>is happy that you >>asked him. If you offer to help him , he will refuse >>you right away. >> >>When he is broke , he can find money still. He is not >>careful with his way >>of spending for he has fun with spending money and >>happy to buy what he >>likes. He lets other people borrow money from him >>easily even if he has no >>money, he will run to his friend to borrow money for >>you. He likes first >>class , first quality of everything. >> >>He can work hard like a mad dog, and sometimes can be >>lazy like a lazy >>sleepy cat. When he works, he is very serious. When > he >>parties, he can be a >>party animal. If he ask you out, you will sure have a >>fun and jolly time. >> >>He will take chance with his love life, so if you > know >>how to handle him, >>you will win. If he is your love one, it won't be a >>romance novel. You have >>to be ready to calm him down when he over reacts to >>small matters because >>your cool stability will control and ease his mood. > If >>you can not handle or >>understand him, your relationship will be like a >>demolition zone, a on and >>off relationship till all your friends tired to hear >>about your breaking up >>and making up. >> >>Beauty is always in the eyes of the lion. You have to >>be dignify to walk >>with the lion king. Your looks is part of his image >>and ego and he is very >>proud about it too. If you want his attention the >>first time you meet, you >>better be astounding attractive. If you have a first >>conversation with him, >>you have to show him how much you adore his thinking. >>He likes to talk and >>not knowing that he likes to talk about himself.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

tired

im damn tired now, not to mention the number of things now revolving on my mind now, it seems that i have to make my mind be in a cool state all the time, time 2 get serious in everything im gonna do now, nothing is gonna block it.

went for charity gift box 2day, damn fun man,nt 2 mention get 2 know more bout the astro ppl, its damn tiring coz b4 that me n sticky actually went 2 yue beng's hse 2 taun the night b4, 1st few times taun at ppl hse, haha, played the whole morning... damn tired lar, now resting on the sofa, really have 2 go work 2molo even if i not feeling well, coz $$ is running out!!!! lol, 3 weeks dint go work liao!!! siao sia.... can survive till now is actually kinda a miracle.... haha, yet again, the usual of routes are too bored liao, its like so routine life of mine.... getting bored and real sianz, tired of all things surrounding me,... cant take it no more....